The Tale of Mate Adam
(18th century manuscript in a bottle washed ashore on a Brazilian beach, 1957)
lyrics
The Tale of Mate Adam
(18th century manuscript in a bottle washed ashore on a Brazilian beach, 1957)
A long time ago and many an ocean mile away
there once lived a bearded sailor rogue
Mate Adam, the foc'sle salts did say
Now tis true the tale I do here set forth
Not fiction, but fact
that Mate Adam’s beard was a magical source of strength
us rest did dearly lack
Twas not believed by the newcomers aboard
when scuttlebutt did pronounce that,
Mate Adam could lift at once
two storm anchors, one upon each limb
To Mate Adam, each weighed only an ounce!
Arms twice thick as hawser
Chest broader than deck beams
Twas not here his strength did lie
but upon his noble visage
where salt sprayed red beard did gleam
Legs stout as oaken sampson posts
hands so big they took ‘round the foremast case
Yet, twas not here his brawn did derive
It was that hair upon his handsome face!
Now herein lies the treachery
of which this tale be told
That when a Great Wonder doth exist
tis natural a jealousy will unfold
And yeah unto me
no scurvier sod did walk a deck
as one-eyed Lecher Lance
who sailed with Mate Adam
a cargoin’ bound round the horn and France
Each day Mate Adam did cry,
“Look lively there lads! and up ye go!
For tis round the horn me lads!
‘Round the world’s big toe!”
Aloft the men did spring and cheer
for we knew below Mate Adam did walk
Brave and sure we did reef those wind spittin’ sails
All was well we knew for in his hands the barque was locked!
Each sailin’ day brought new tasks
as we descended upon the South
And each day, nearby there lurked
Lecher Lance, a cursin’ from his mouth
“Aye ye think he so mighty” Lecher Lance did scowl
“Well I tell ya lads, I’m tired!
Aye ye think he so strong and pure!
Well hear this, ye smut!. That won’t last long, be sure!”
As soon as the winds do blow
trouble was soon afoot
Mate Adam knew of Lecher Lance’s a thinkin’
But aye! But why?
Mate Adam would not look!
And on that storm driven night
we’ll soon not forget
when Lance crept in the dark
and went to Mate Adam’s bed in stealthy secret
There, Lecher Lance did place a potion of drowsiness
beside the bunk’s pitcher
of which sleep made Mate Adam
all the dream-filled richer
And in that dark bewitchin’ time
Lecher Lance did carve off
the bristly red beard from Mate Adam’s face!
Adam did not toss
And into his own cup he did pour
those contents in hope
that he might steal
the strength and power
within those hairs
The hair of Mate Adam’s face
And next morn’ the men did fear
trouble would soon be
For just then Lance Lecher did cry,
“Tis my ship now! You’re all a comin’ with me!”
There, aside Mate Adam did appear
his face cut a hundred times
starin’ so nobly at Lance, he spoke:
“Pirate ye be! Ye know not what ye’ve done!”
Screamin’ and a hollerin’ Lance did jump
to the cannon upon the poop
From there he cried,
“Stop me now! Try and I’ll shoot!”
Mate Adam did slowly walk
The sailors cautioned:
“No Mate! For without the magic beard, we fear
the cannon will roar, ’twill be your fate!”
But on Mate Adam did stride
And Lance, a crazed look in that one bloodshot eye
pulled the string and the cannon did roar!
But all was shrouded in smoke
And when it cleared it is true what I do here report
Mate Adam kept a walkin’ forw’d
So stout and true to be
And look! By God!, the cannon ball clutched he!
“But how?, you scoundrel!” cried Lance
“How can it be?”
Mate Adam walked further on
“How?, without the magic beard that I do not see!”
All fell quiet
Even the breeze did pause
Mate Adam began to speak!
Lecher Lance began to crawl
“My men!” he did boom
“’Tis not the beard that lends me my strength!
Dear Good Men, ye must know
’Tis simple, ’tis me confeedence!”
“Remember this, what I say!
All sailors harken here
No man is greater than another
No man need hath fear!”
And so, we pokied Lecher Lance
and cried three cheers for Mate Adam
’Tis true! Every word here spoken!
As sure as six feet equal one fathom!
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